2014-03-07 To F.

2014-03-07

Greetings F.,

I just meditated and I don’t know if I see lighter or darker. But I am emptier. My interior is clearer.

First of all, thank you. Thank you for all that you have taught me and continue to teach me. Since the day I met you, every chat, conversation, or email with you has been very fruitful for me. The last lesson you have given me has been to recognize that lots of work remains to be done with humanity. Even so, we are still on the right track. Thank you.

I’m sorry to tell you this, it grieves me greatly, but lately you make me sad. I am sorry to see that the person T. introduced me at El Gallinero about 4 years ago (time flies, isn’t it?) Has changed so much. That person for whom I put on a shirt, to give a good image. That person that appeared in espadrilles, with a mane, earrings and white pants that looked like pajamas. T. incorruptible. Without prejudice, he accepted us and admired who we were and what we could be; not because of what we appeared to be. It didn’t matter the attire if our spirit was on the path we had chosen, or that we still had to choose. Each his, his own way. Way to be discovered and traveled, which to this day we continue discovering and traveling.

I am sorry to tell you that you have disappointed me greatly. Seriously, I’m sorry. It was my fault, I admit it. For not being empty. For having expectations. Expectations about educated people, about wise people. To think that these would keep their humanity intact through the passing of the years.

At first, I thought about sending you a text full of authors and references, but, I suppose that like Watson, discoverer of DNA, the references and the previous and subsequent demonstrations do not have much depth in your iron spirit. Also, by the way, I don’t want to give you any references: because I don’t know them, because I don’t have time to look for them, and because you could answer me with ten references in response to each one I put.

So I will try to appeal to your humanity, which, as a human being, I am sure you still have. As ignorant as I am, I will ask questions. I want to ask you if human beings do not deserve equality and respect just because they are human beings. If they do not deserve to be treated fairly, justly, because they belong to the human condition. If, due to their inherent and intrinsic human dignity, they do not deserve the love and appreciation of other people. If we should not fight to try to achieve equality, even if it is artificial and invented, but that allows all people to try to find their way without others putting obstacles in their way and prevent it. Even if we show that blacks are dumber, and that women write worse. Don’t they both deserve to have the same opportunities to study or write? Aren’t they human beings too? Aren’t they people?

I will believe the lies of equality, if the consequences are positive for humanity. And I will forget the truths of the differences if they lead us to segregation and violence between people, between brothers. The world, like science, is built by people. And we all decide whether we want to live in a world where blacks are dumber and women write worse (even if it’s true), or one where we are all equal and have access to the same opportunities in a fair and impartial way (even if we aren’t the same). Sometimes I need to lie to myself and fool myself. Then I empty myself and forgot about self-deception. I forget the truth. I give myself new opportunities. Unprejudiced.

I consider that segregation and prejudice are not beneficial for humanity, and cause behaviors guided by hatred and ignorance in human beings. On the contrary, curiosity, even if it kills cats, brings people closer to each other. Curiosity and knowledge prevent the development of prejudice and are medicine for racism. Respect and love are forged with trust and cooperation. Opportunities for learning and experiences are needed. It is essential to look into the unknown. Observe each situation with new eyes.

I think that people are in the world to help each other and not to trip us up. The person you are helping today may be vital to you in the future. It can be the fundamental help that removes the obstacle that you alone cannot move. I like to think that the human being has come this far for his ability to love, and not for his ability to destroy. For his altruism, for putting the common interest before his own. For focusing on others.

Blacks are black because you are white. Just as women are women because you are a man. I am trying to abandon my point of view centered on myself. Stop comparing myself with the world, taking as a reference my point of view, my characteristics, the person that I am. I don’t want to compare, neither with me, nor between them, nor with anything. I want to take people as individual beings. What they are. Leave the categories, stereotypes and prejudices aside.

Thus, I want to empty myself and be able to fill myself over and over again. Be empty. Forget all the science and references. For or against equality. Run into the living beings of the planet, with each object and with each new experience free of past influences. As if it were the first time. New water over and over again. Trying that my only prejudice is lack of prejudices.

I have been educated as a Scout, and the motto “Leave this world a little better than you found it.” has made quite an impact on my personality. In part, that’s why I’m sending you this letter.

I have no time left. Sorry Fernando.

As a last thought, appreciate what you have accomplished. It’s easy to blame you, but I decided to breathe. From the hatred that your emails caused me at first, I have been able to pass to a deep sadness when I realized the transformation you have undergone these years. Now there is only left an infinite gratitude to the beautiful person who has caused me to write this letter.

Thank you very much F.

Carlos

Leuven 2014-03-07