2014-02-25 From my mother.

2014-02-25

Hello, dear Carlos.

I greatly appreciate your letter and the encouragement that conveys and comforts me.

I am glad you are in such a plethoric moment, of well-being and happiness, with high expectations on the way to achievement. I am also encouraged to know that the small or great efforts we have been able to make for you and for your brothers have served you; that they have transmitted you knowledge and experiences; above all, I hope, of affection, emotion and love -which, on the other hand, it costs me so much to show sine a few years-; I hope that the moments lived during the first years of childhood and happiness weigh more.

Your offer fills me with satisfaction and I am sure that those days with you would be, as you say, of benefit, rest, and perfect for my state of mind, and, thus, be able to appreciate the many things that have been going through my mind lately. I agree with what you tell me and you propose -I think it is the right/necessary time and although it may serve as an excuse I would never feel like this-, I would love to take that trip and share with you the moments that your daily activity allows you, and your room , that you do not have to leave for me, with a sleeping bag I have enough. But it is possible that this is not the time, I went this morning to a selection test for an Ecyl teaching course, which I have wanted to do for years and I have the interview on the afternoon of the 27^th. Until that moment, or one day later, I will not be able to seriously consider the trip, which causes a small conflict of interest, as I would undoubtedly prefer to be with you, but if I were selected it would be a great opportunity that I should not miss. We will see.

On the other hand, there is one more inconvenience. Your brothers have not finished the course they are doing and your father is working, things that morally bind me to this place, although it is not a great thing that I do for them, which on the other hand I do not feel be recognized, requested, or claimed.

In addition, you already know your father and his economical ideas, that so many inconsistencies and inconveniences pose to me in day to day and coexistence, not only with him, especially with you and in relation to my family. Something that would not pose any inconvenience, or doubt, if you really needed my help and/or presence.

I thank you very much for the effort and time you dedicate to me, especially when you are so busy, and the recognition or feeling of gratitude that you transmit, of positive value for what we do or try. And although I would like to have you close - you know that it really lasts little when you are physically- what really comforts me is that you are growing and achieving what you are interested in and you propose and what your future reward means. The disadvantage of distance is bearable when you see and value the benefit it provides, even if it is not always easy to accept or carry.

We continue in communication, accompanying ourselves in the search for the best, in continuous learning, on a daily basis, in the experiences of “emptying and fullness”.

A warm and comforting hug.

Estrella