1.5 2020-03-23 To Paloma

2020-03-23

Hola Paloma,

Or any of the other people that read, because I know there are other people.

Corona times require Corona measures. And I write like this because I know I can.

Cartas a Paloma. But it was everyone but Paloma the ones that were reading them.

Today I thought about doing the 6 phase mediation of Visen Lakhiani, but in a longer format. Instead of 20 minutes, it could last 2 hours. Instead of not even 5 minutes by phase, which would be 30 minutes, to do 20 minutes by phase, which would make 2 hours. Then, I thought I could start recording myself guiding the meditation²³ with only 10 minutes per phase, summing up a total of 1 hour of meditation. Because now that we all have free time and we are lock down, we can allow ourselves to meditate 1 hour in the morning and one hour in the evening.

Corona times require Corona measures

• Why are you always saying the same?

Because if you have time, meditate one hour. If you don’t have time, meditate two.

• Don’t you know that this is not the way you are supposed to use speaking marks, and hyphens?

I don’t even know what a hyphen is. I just know how to write, and wait for my editor to come and fix my mess.

• You mean an editor male, or an editor female?

I mean Joselyne²⁴

How often can I reference an unfinished text? And how good strategy it is to leave the links already done, even though the content hasn’t been created, because in this way the job is already structured for the future. Working in the present for a future that should have been built on the past.

Not bad. Not un-understandable, but neither understandable. I rather not to over-complicate myself. I am trusting too much in a non-changeable internet. And I should may want to keep the copies of my thoughts on my laptop as well. However, unluckily for me, the internet is much more reliable source of preserving and retrieving the information. As for today.

I think it is the perfect moment to go to Nebenau. A village in the mountains, away from the empty cities, and the crowded cages. The metaphor of the 20 century used to be of monkeys behaving like sheep. However, that seems a bit antiquated for me²⁵. Antiquated is to think of Sapiens as sheeps, instead of thinking of them as monkeys. A more updated view of f*cking talking moneys that don’t understand each other is to think that they are hamsters trapped on their cages. Comfy cages, comfy hamsters. But f*uck, they found a wild a beast that is going to difficult to tame.

I always liked to see myself as a fox. Then, a girl we have in common compared me with a squirrel, even with a lizard. Our lovely V.. She taught me how to read, how to breathe, how to kiss, how to cry, how to hold a hand, how to say goodbye. She taught me how to write. Even how to give a face massage.

So many more to come. So many more, I may forget. Or may not. If you only have one mother and your mother dies, do you suffer more or less than if you have more than one mother?

It may be too late for me to have more than one mother, but may not be late enough for my kids to have more than a father. If you have lost track, ask Ryan. I rather quote on my way, than on Bookdown’s way. But for the shake of science, I do it because I can (Ryan and Jethá 2010). And because I can, I can even cite texts that I haven’t read (Saxon 2012), like a good scientific that I am not.

Carlito Fluito, non-Ph.D. 

Because I can. Because I don’t have to sing anywhere explaining people what I do and what I don’t. Because, I am free. And because if every Spanish that stays at home during the quarantine doesn’t receive 100€/per week, I will have to make your time worth at least as much as you are not earning for your normal investment.

I am writing and publishing guides. I am filming myself, but not uploading it yet on the social networks. I have YouTube, and Instagram, and Facebook, and email. I have so many things that I often forget that I also have Patreon. Patreon and a bank account, more empty than full, but more full than empty. I just miss feedback. Because, if no one tells me what they like and what they know, I may think that everything I do is equally good, and ending up puking my narcissistic gluttony. Vomiting Narcisos.

It would be a good moment for adding a picture of a Narcisus, but then I would have to download the photo and adding it to the folder. The question is, how long does that operation takes?

00.52

Figure 1.21: 00.54… Click here to know more than me about what I talk.

Just kidding, this is the picture I wanted to add:

Figure 1.22: 00.56… I don’t know anything about this either.

Although Carvaggio’s is best, not in the Online Open Prado’s Museum Gallery, but in the Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica. I wish I could visit it now that I am locked at home. I would buy a huge TV, just to put my favorite paintings over a glass of wine.

However, I prefer to hang and admire the creations of my brothers, sisters, and relatives.

At some point, I lost the point of what I was talking about, and got trapped by the stream of connected information. Was I talking about Narciso the flower and our infinite ignorance about the botanic world we have grown so disconnected from? Or was I talking about Narcissus the Greek myth and how disrespectful we are of ancient classics? Or was I talking about how little time we have to stop and admire great works of art? Or was I talking about my drowning Narcissism and how mine²⁶ is just an expression of a societal movement downwards?

The only Narcissism that I really liked is the one that is shared. It is the one when I dwell when I find eyes that want to sink to mine to find theirs. The eyes that want to hold my gaze. Those that are deep enough so I can blindly fall and dwell. Those that promise me that whatever the depth, they will hold, because they held. Those are the eyes where I want to sink. That is the mirror, where I want to find my pains.

But fears, you know, I know, we know. We are afraid of connecting a bit deeper with reality, with ourselves, with each other. We feel attacked, and exposed, and vulnerable when we hold our gazes and instead of fighting each other armors, we play getting naked, from inside and from outside. We lack so much love, we are afraid of being vulnerable. So sad, my friends, so sad. That is why having a mother is probably not enough. And having a tons is probably the healthiest love. It is not that no one should stand our anger. It is that kids should be raised with the fantasy and the magic that love is endless, unconditional, and unlimited. People are humans, but communities can be divinized. After Nietzsche, humans are unable to divinize gods themselves. He suggest that we could divinize ourselves, but he didn’t mention that we can divinize communities.

Corona times seems a good moment to catch up on philosophy, if that is what you are into. However, you and me, Paloma, being spiritual as we are, we are likely to catch up on nature, now that is Corona times. But unfortunately, we are obliged to be locked at home. Because we got too late, and our homes are not in the nature. Be patient, Carlos. It will come. For the next pandemic, I will just have to limit the number of people that contact the members of the community, and we will be safe from the antibiotic resistance that meat eaters have developed. I am not sure if I am overloading the text with references. But I like the idea of giving people some extra knowledge if they are curious and they want to explore a bit more what I mean with my texts.

I used to like it when it was uncleared and mysterious, but obviousness is the norm. Funny fact, by 23^rd of March of 2020, when you write “Obviedad” in Google translate, it translates it as “no-brainer”. I prefer “obviousness”. I think no-brainer is something different. That is why I just gave feedback to the machine.

Paloma, it is 01.23, and there is a routine to develop and refine. Let’s dream.

• I wake up at 6 and I spend 2 hours doing the 6 phase meditation of Lakhiani at Fluito’s speed.

• I do some mobility because my body was complaining so much during the meditation that I am unable to skip my movement awakening routine any day of my life.

• Do today what you are going to repeat tomorrow.

• I have had had brushed my teeth with the left hand, and make some wudu, because it is impossible to meditate when you are falling sleep.

• If I was falling sleep, it meant that I hadn’t slept enough. Thus, I go to sleep again.

• Or maybe, I resist the impulse, and wait till the night, to regulate my circadian rhythm.

• But it is night and I want to write to Paloma, because there have been many days since I haven’t written anything to you. And you have asked me to write you.

Such a dilemma.

The good point of this routine is that I have all the time I want and need in my life at the moment. So much time that after meditating, I have time to do breathing exercises, and even train some dance, and even write and publish my texts.

Corona times are bringing tons of opportunities.

How are you doing in Spain?

C.F.

References

Ryan, Christopher, and Cacilda Jethá. 2010. Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality. Harper New York, NY.

Saxon, Lynn. 2012. Sex at Dusk: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from Sex at Dawn. CreateSpace.

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23. Sorry, not available at the moment. Looking forward your collaboration, though.↩

24. True, this letter is not published yet, either.↩

25. Don’t you enjoy understanding antiquated just because you are a native Spanish speaker, and that some natives may have had to check whether that is a word or just the fucking low-range writer creating words?↩

26. This one I don’t upload it to YouTube, so this video can only be seen by those that read the letters. Not the followers, not the believers, the readers. A very specific category within my audience. Exclusive audiovisual content for you, my lovely readers.↩