1.1 Corona Times in Berlin.2020-04
1.1.1 Time for humankind performance under COVID-19 rules (2020-04-01)
It is 07:07.
Still synchronized with the universe. 15 minutes start running, start counting. This is why, I made a routine with timings instead of with specific hours, because I work with my own tempos.
I woke up at 6 something, and then I tried to do the Wudu La Cabra, but in the whole body instead of only in the head. Basically, to take a Wim Hof shower. However, I ended up pouring cold water over my body to notice a bit afterwards that I was having a muscle contraction on my neck. So, I change plans and I took a 20 minutes warm water shower. I was already with the soap on my body, so it is was merely about using the water as a therapeutic strategy. How to relax my back, how to stretch my neck, how to avoid the contraction to become stiffer. Then, I did my morning drink: tea, salt, and lemon, and it took longer than expected. But I didn’t care, I was already in the mood of taking my time. Respecting the order of the routine, and the rules of phone fasting and food fasting, but with my own timing.
Now, I am writing, which is what I am supposed to do, and surprisingly, I still remember my last dream because I could make meaning out of it pretty fast. It is al quite COVID-19 pandemic related.
So, I was in a big arena, with lots of people4 There was a sort of contest/festival where different groups of people had to show their dances to the jury. The seats were crowded, and the first team started to perform, to dance. Then, the audience (the other groups) liked a lot the first performance and start joining them, most of the people start to party on the center of the arena, leaving their seats on the stands in a happy mood, and then all the people dancing altogether.
A bit later, when everyone was everywhere, the judges said that they couldn’t judge because they didn’t know which one was from the performing team and which one was not. It was true. The party was cool and nice, but it was inefficient for the judges. So, the rule was to put us far, far away from the center of the arena, and separated and create distance from each other. In this way, we could dance and enjoy ourselves, without disrupting the performance of the group that was its turn, and without making big noises and agglomerations on the stands. However, the place where me and some members of my team were allocated was in the top of stadium, in a place where it was impossible to see anything and enjoy the ongoing show. It felt as if we were discriminated. It felt weird, as if we had been reclused there, claiming on the god functioning of the festival, but they were just taking us away politely because we couldn’t control ourselves, and we couldn’t make things work properly.
Some of the people, me being one of the first, had the idea of coming closer little by little (I am a rebel ADHD maverick by nature.) Respecting the security distance and in small groups of spare individuals, we came down the stands, closer to the center of the arena. However, once we got closer and we could see the performance, I still wanted to come closer. We were seated separated from each other, and on our seat without moving much, like showing to the judges, who were becaming aware that we were there, that now we had learnt how to behave, and that we would keep the security distance and the silent party at our place.
However, I was seeker for more. In my conscious, non-dreamy life, I am a performer. So, I was in the dream. I wanted to observe closely and analyze the movements of the dancers, not just partying. Thus, I decided to go closer, although the judges weren’t very happy again. I didn’t care much because I was being safe: distance with other people and not entering the show of the other team. I wanted to dance, and I was dancing on my spot, really repressing the willing of going to the middle of the arena and join the group that was performing.
A bit later, my group and me, started preparing our own performance, which was coming later, after a couple of other groups. We kind of set up some group dynamics that everybody agreed. It was something like, at the beginning of our show all of us clapping at the same time; then stepping our feet synchronically; and then closing with the movement and pose at the end. That was it. Everybody agreed and was happy and cool with the idea and what we were going to do.
Once my group was done with the preparation, I came back to see the other groups performances. However, after a while, when I came back because our moment of going to the stage was coming, I find a guy that is leading my group. He looks nice, big, energetic, and highly motivated. He is not a bad leader or anything like that. It seems that he just came up with a song that joined our three exercises, the claps, the steps, and the closing. However, now the result, the whole performance is too short and there are some people of my group that aren’t very happy with the situation and are not following him. They look quite disengaged.
When he is finished rehearsing with my group, I start talking with him. I tell him that is a good idea, but it is too short and maybe not everybody agrees with the song. He tells me that it is better than the previous, more complicated and more creative. I sort of agree but keep on pointing out the limitations and issues. After a bit of talking, I decide to take the leadership again, and I say to the spontaneous new-comer leader, that if he wants to do it creatively, we can go fully creative. But then, it is better to do things differently. So, first, I tell the people that we are going to go full-mode creation.
Not everybody in my group is a dancer, or a performing artist, so I take a more directive, authoritarian role. I asked those disengaged that even if it is for the 10 minutes of the performance, they have to strive to do the best they can. The judges value more the motivation and synergy of the whole group than the quality and technique of the outcome. Then, I tell them that we can keep the song rehearsed by the newcomer leader because it is indeed a good idea to mix the three movements altogether, so he will lead that part. Then, there will be a switch. I will lead the second part, where the idea is to work with a more organic spontaneous creation dynamic. For example, I am the wind, and people are static moving their arms as if they were branches of trees, or their whole bodies, as if they were sea waves. While I am moving around dancing, doing tricks, and acrobatics, (because I know how to do it and it will increase the quality of the performance), I will be telling a story, so the whole team can follow the instructions. It is a creation, improvisation task. I asked them to trust me.
I wake up somewhere in the preparation of my own performance, with the feeling that for the whole piece to be complete, there is still missing a third act. An act that is still unprepared, and that although I would like it to be a collective creation, it may need to be a directed one, something similar than before because there is no time. We have to perform in very few moments. The judges and the whole arena are waiting for us.
If you cannot see the metaphor with the COVID situation, I can give you some hints.
We are still working and thinking in groups. (Nations). It is probably our hunter-gathered mindset forged through hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. We work in groups; it is how we are. However, we have reached a moment in humankind, where it seems possible that everybody joins the party. That we go all dancing at the same time. However, COVID, as the judges, has appear to set up new rules, to tell us to go home, to separate from each other, It feels correct, but weird.
Not only we cannot be with the people of our group, but we cannot even enjoy the performance of other groups. (We cannot be with the people we love, we cannot travel…). Then, because of our nature as human, our curious and our affiliative instincts, we try to go back to the previous situation respecting the new rules, without forcing the judges to place us away and separate again. (The coming back straight after the pandemic).
In this case, it seems that the festival continues. So, the groups focus on preparing their performances, but this newcomer leader appear. (Self-proclaimed internet gurus, opportunistic politicians). His suggestion is shallow, is quick, is effective, but not everybody is engaged, and although it has good quality, it is not enough. We need something deeper, something, more meaningful and really creative, where everybody can express their individuality within a coherent group dynamic. But still we need a leader because there is no time and we have to act fast. I am a communal narcissist5, so you can guess why my unconscious psyche points out that I am that leader. A leader that with good will for all and a knowledgeable perspective(Harari? Zizek?) takes most of the control of the situation, arranges a sort of agreement of engagement with all the members, and starts organizing and moving the situation forwards really quick, really fast, but efficiently and with sound knowledge. The result is of an unknown quality because there is no time of rehearsals. The group has sort of agreed because of the situation, but we don’t know what will actually happen during the performance. Nobody can say. Our time of performing is coming, and we need to go to the center of the arena with only 2/3 of the show.
I will keep on writing my ideas. I ask you to keep on reading, if you connect with me. And I ask you to trust me as a good-willing leader, if my thoughts and dreams resonate on you. We may arrive tight on time, with 2/3 of the show kind of prepared. The first third may be a condensation and a mix of the ideas that were already present, quickly designed, putted together, and directed by some sort of hypermotivated new-comer leader. The second third can be an improvisation based on trust, where some leaders6 with more perspective and knowledge about the situation can give us instructions that we have to follow sort of blindly, without none of us (not even the leaders themselves) knowing whether the thing is going to work of not. A situation where we trust their experience, and commit to perform our best for the 10 minutes of duration of the performance. And then, if everything works out, maybe, and only maybe, we can improvise the third third of the performance with a party where everyone is invited to join at the stage and, hopefully, this time the judges (Viruses and other global threats of the future) join us and let us party instead of splitting us up.
Keep on dreaming and enjoy your quarantine time.
7.44 - Revision and correction – 8.53
2 hours of work already :-) Now, I can continue with the routine, and do some yoga to fix the contraction of my neck.
When I am writing dreams I usually start using the past form, and end up using the present. I am not sure why. Bear with it, and stick to the tale.↩
If you stop thinking about the great figures of history (Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, Caesars, philosophers, artists… We were all probably communal narcissist of some kind.↩
Where I would like to include myself.↩