2.1 Corona Times in Berlin. 2020-03/04
2.1.1 Scarcity mindset, positive mirroring, and non-hypocritical veganism. (2020-03-30)
10.36
15min-power nap.
Just to enter, just to learn how to go deep, and then, how to go up. How to access to that place where orthography faults don’t matter. That place where I can delve and let my brain work and my hands move. Because I don’t care, I don’t care about the one that reads, I don’t care either about the one that writes.
I cannot go backward and let my fingers correct something that they wrote. I may do it later or may not. If I think this doesn’t work, if I let it be maybe, just maybe some useful information may appear on the page. It is all about surrender. Surrender and write whatever the fuck is going on. Nothing about going backward, just forwards, forwards, forwards.
So, now, that you have the forwards movement, the next rule is not being able to stop. Just download the information directly into the page. And the information of today it is that it is time to routine. Routine because I want to upgrade to the next level routine because I just ordered the room and what I found was space, empty space. That is what I need.
I had again to fix my own life first, to start fixing that of others. That is the problem. I hate when people become not only defensive but also attacking. One thing is trying to correct others’ faults. Pointing at them and telling them how to do it better. But something I hate it when people go straight and directly for the attack. They are looking for my inconsistencies and they are pointing them out in a way that just looks for conflict, for bringing me down, for letting me know that I am not perfect, that I am not god, that I’m also human, that I sin, that I have flaws ad that I haven’t reach everything in my life.
I was asking P. yesterday in WhatsApp whether saying someone “What you see negative in me, you see it negative in yourself” is an attack or not. It is clear that a positive mirror is saying “Whatever you see good on me, you see good on yourself.” “Whatever you see good in me you have it inside yourself.” But it takes time to realize that whatever they see negative in you is negative things people have in themselves. You may not say it, but just point it out at them. That is the simplicity.
People may have a scarcity mindset and that is why they may think and say that 4 bananas for one day are not enough. That is really sad. Four bananas are a lot, enough for not only one day but for one week. People are too attached to their material resources, also to the immaterial ones. They think of their thoughts and ideas as something real, something that is already being manifested in reality. Look if I have an idea and you don’t like it, you don’t need to tell me that it won’t happen. Just take it as an idea, as a potential modification and manifestation of the atoms of this universe. It is not happening now, and neither you, now I, know if that will happen. That is what you need to learn and discover. Don’t deny an idea that hasn’t happened yet because you don’t know if it will ever happen. If it will ever happen. That is the magic of ideas. They are just potentialities of this universe. So, next time you are criticizing a creative idea, make it constructive, don’t do it in a destructive denial way. Be humble.
If I defend veganism, and then I eat cheese, don’t try to criticize me, because I have done it. Keep on observing yourself. I only admit critics, and I only include them in my system when those critics came from people that are more aware and conscious than I am. From people that are more knowledgeable than I am. I f I don’t eat meat or cheese, and one day I eat it, look, respect my process. If you are still thinking in dualities, in either-or, in ones and zeros, you are still in a vibration that it may hinder you the comprehension of what I do. I’m not defending omnivores, and I will never do it. I will keep on defending veganism, and I am fully aware that this is one of the most ethical ways of surviving as human beings.8 But the point here is that if you haven’t experienced my reality, don’t tell me my inconsistencies.
I just point out to the moral flaws of your behavior, and my hypocrisy may be a moral flaw, but it is still a smaller one than your systematically murderous behavior each time you buy and consume food. Now you may argue that I believe that I have moral superiority. That I am claiming to be morally right, or that I am just setting up a moral hierarchy, where murder is worse than hypocrisy. Well, you are right. I am doing it. If you cannot see how murder is worse than hypocrisy, then you may be a hypocrite of your own feelings and emotions. Lying, or telling partial truths is part of human experience, of human communication. Not only human but also animal. However, murdering systematically and increasing the suffering of other livings beings is not too inherent in human realities, in human nature, in human existence. This is something you may want to interiorize in your belief system.
Therefore, you better start realizing the consequences of your acts and stop watching the inconsistencies of others.
Jesus was quite clear and specific (supposedly)
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Matthew 7:3
I have been attacked since ever and I will still be, and that is part of the game, part of the process. Part of self-claiming myself as a prophet, as a guru, or as a messiah. People got crucified for claiming to be God’s son, and I got crucified for defending veganism and then eat 15 grams of cheese.
Well, what can I do? If it bothers you so much. Don’t buy the cheese, and I will not eat it. And if it bothers you that I eat more veggies than you, stop eating meat and you may understand me.
Lesson: change your mindset. Abundance over scarcity.
10.51
Revision and correction.
11.14
2.1.2 Observe with perspective. Worries disappear when you zoom out. (2020-04-08)
Tegel Airport, Berlin, Germany – COVID times.9
Many people may call me irresponsible, but I think that the most punishable act right now is to be so close of taking a plane considering the environmental situation of the planet.
Psilocybin heals. It heals so much that it could have been difficult to believe my calm and tranquility concerning my own death or the death of the whole humankind. I don’t know. Today I was reading about octopus and the fact that their phylogenetic line with squid and cuttlefish separated around 370 million years ago. Not bad at all. We, humans, have been around 300.000 years as species, and our civilization dates from 12.000 years. Sometimes I find ridiculous the whole existential angst that we have developed out of our realization of being temporarily alive. Octopus only live 2 to 3 years; we live from 50 to 80 depending on how lucky you are when you are born. Many times, it is all about luck.
I guess I lack empathy, and I have an excess of transcendental perspective. It is undeniable that we have done a huge mess over this planet. That we have asphalted forest and place concrete over everything we could. We have built massive structures to show ourselves how tall our Babel Towers could get. And still, we are just apes. F*cking talking monkeys, nothing else. Life is so compelling, that a bird just entered the terminal and the dozens of people waiting for the plane couldn’t avoid looking at the chirping animal, flying around, probably confused about the place that just entered, wondering where are the trees, the leaves, the grains, the branches, the green.
Before taking the psilocybin, I couldn’t fully understand David Cain’s comments like:
Observe your surroundings and imagine how everything would have been like millions of years ago.
or
Observe your surroundings and appreciate how pretty much anything of what you see would change if you would disappear right now from the earth.
It is tough to acknowledge and appreciate these truths when you are a teenager, fighting for consolidating your identity. But it is a sing of maturity to appreciate the level of irrelevance that we all carry in our existence. We are nothing. We are nothing as individuals, and we are nothing as species. We are just another manifestation of life in this planet, in this universe. And with the passing of the years, all our marks, even those with the deepest scars and impact in the planet, like radioactive waste, all of them will be gone. That’s it. Nothing more.
And I am incredibly tranquil writing this. I am incredibly chill. Like If I knew that these levels of truths, no matter how discomforting can be for some people are utterly undeniable. We have become too attach to life. We have grown distant from death.
We are children, maybe teenagers, striving to have a consolidate identity as species, that is why it is so difficult for us to acknowledge that nothing of what we are doing, or what we will ever do is inherently irrelevant.
None of my words justify immoral behavior. None of my words justify the increasing of pain and suffering in living beings of this universe. Never get me wrong. Suffering and pain are something that living beings avoid and reject. Therefore, no matter how irrelevant we are, that is no excuse to cause harm or suffering in other forms of consciousness.
In a similar way, none of my words justify despair or suicide. None of my words justify the act of willingly finish our own consciousness. No matter how irrelevant any of our actions is, our current form of consciousness is a gift that should be enjoyed and experience to the utmost (respecting the no-harm/no-suffering moral of before as much as possible).
I am aware this is not high philosophy. Likely, if you have never subjectively experience what I am talking about you may be unable to embody and comprehend its meaning. Nevertheless, I try. I have the hope that some of my words can make people wake up a bit and realize their role in this whole game called life and the universe. We may just be a simulation running somewhere in a quantum computer of some sort. And that is okay. It doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy our current existence, and it doesn’t mean we should decrease the enjoyment of other existences.
I guess that the smaller we feel about ourselves, the more we need to prove and validate who we are and what we do, and the more we need to find relevance and importance in our own actions. On the other hand, the bigger we feel and experience our consciousness, the more we can appreciate our role in the whole life performance. Individually, we are just tiny atoms in the whole history of the universe. The whole human species is just a drop in the ocean of life and evolution in planet earth.
Let the waves wave and let the tides tide. Let the atoms merge and dissolve, let them structure and matter change. Let us try to maintain our existence, but let’s not get attached to it either. Let’s appreciate each of the moments of consciousness we have been gifted with and make the worries about non-existent realities disappear.
Enjoy the journey, because there is nothing else than the journey. The whole universe will freeze out at some point, and existence has no more meaning than the one you create out of love in your own individual life. Love life and meaning will appear by its own.
2.1.3 Man-made life vs. Universe-made life (2020-04-09)
14.40
Bus from Madrid to Valladolid (Spain)
First day of pseudo quarantine.
Yesterday, I was in Berlin, in Paris, and in Madrid. Three European capitals. All empty, from airport to airport. Actually, Berlin looks pretty normal; Paris was empty from the airplane; and Madrid empty from the streets.
I am afraid of sneezing too loud. I am still with my thinking and my feelings of enjoyment and pleasure. Everything is empty, the planet is breathing. It is taking a break from humans. It is common sense for me. Maybe the next pandemic will not be so tolerant with us. Actually, we are the pandemic. Covid is just the antidote. It is the balance.
Today, I did nothing. The friend that hosted me for one night in a tiny guest’s room at his place told me not to touch anything, not to go out, not to do much. I understand his concerns. I obeyed. Hydroalcoholic solution at the door and sleeping all morning because there was not much to do. I almost meditate but I used the smartphone in the morning. Too much dopamine. That was the mistake, as always.
At my family house, my brother can manage my smartphone, so I can use more the mornings; and the days; and the nights. Smartphones are sucking people’s lives, and this is one of those clear situations.
What can I say about the pandemic? Politics and discussions. Funerary cars, and the police not allowing people to travel to their homes because they already have an alternative. The mountain looks beautiful. Psilocybin still works. It is like being high for life. That is wonderful. Once every six months.
All this post-apocalyptic panorama seems to me a very wonderful scenery. No humans. Animals taking over. I don’t think I am a psychopath; I just prefer to empathize with the weakest, with the most vulnerable. In this case, it is nature and not human.
I dreamt with Zambia. I dreamt I was there already. Creating, working with kids, in a big industrial unit. I am traveling to save money; to have enough to carry on with my plan; to buy a land and say “Ciao ciao” to all this game called society. I realized I don’t want to play anymore to these rules. They are not for me. And that is okay. Although it seems that it is not either for most of us.
Robots will end up taking over. And that is not life as we know it. It is a different type of life. A man-made life. But man-made life has consisted in destroying universe-made life. It is weird. It put us in perspective. How much we have changed all this.