1 Cohabiting
In our individualistic Europe we are not really use to get along with each other. We feel stress and pressure if we don’t find our “own moments” along the day, but ironically, we cannot leave our smartphones when we go to the toilet.
In the current situation, it is likely that your time alone, may either get reduced or expanded. In case you live by yourself, you can likely suffer from loneliness at some point. In case you live with flat mates, and family member, you better learn how to communicate with each other effectively as soon as possible.
In any case, I encourage you to get in contact with your neighbors in a safe way (2-meter distance, no physical contact, wash hands afterwards, etc…). The more social assets and resources you have around, the more access to potential help you will have in case you need it.
1.1 Get to know yourself
Before venturing out to others, you better get familiar with the person you are. If you haven’t realized it yet, you are the person with whom you will spend your whole life. Getting to know oneself should be something all of us do all over our lives. However, in times of crisis, it is especially important that you put some conscious effort into getting to know the voice in your head, you habits, tendencies, moods, tempers, emotion management, coping mechanisms…
Let’s take it bit by bit.
1.1.1 Loneliness
I have suffered from loneliness pretty much since I left my hometown and family and I started the university 10 years ago. It is not that I have been alone, but my social needs are very high and my threshold to loneliness, low. I advise you to read Loneliness by Carioppo (Cacioppo and Patrick 2008), or check his TED Talk.Loneliness is like hunger. It is a way your body and being has to point out that there is a need that is being unfulfilled. If you need water, you are thirsty. If you need food, you are hungry. If you need people, you feel lonely.
There is nothing bad with it. Just acknowledge it, and take the due action to reverse the situation. Since how to deal with loneliness is beyond the purpose of this guide, one thing you can do if you are lockdown at home and you start feeling lonely too often, is talk with a friend and move to their place (or they to yours). The cohabiting may be challenging and you may miss your moments alone, but on the long term, human beings need shared moments more than the tranquility of loneliness.3
1.1.2 Get in contact with your needs
Different people have different needs. Acknoledge that. In this situation, we are all force to spend whole days locked in one small place. It feels like we are caged animals. We are usually fine with being in cages, but now that it is forced, we feel trapped.
Considering that our needs for fresh air, freedom of movement, and some task to do are heavily reduced, it is fundamental that we enter into contact with our needs in a healthier way.
Therefore, be aware and conscious of what your body is asking for. If you need to go out because you feel trap at home, consider taking walk on the park on the sunrise, or during the night, when there is no risk of contagion. If your needs asks for human contanct and you feel lonely. Consider spending some days at a friend’s place that seems healthy and stable.
Accept your needs and try to fulfill them consciously, minimizing the risks of the situation. It is not possible to go to a bar with many friends, but moving for 3 or 4 days to live with the same friend seems doable for me.
With food, you can try some fasting. Intermitent fasting will make your body more efficient at metabolizing food and it can make your food last longer without negative consequences for you in case things get really, really angry.
But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves yet, and let’s talk about current situations.
1.1.3 Chronotypes
Your chronotype is the rhythm of your brain along the day. If you feel more awake in the morning, you are and early bird. If you are more awake in the evening, you are an owl.4
This is quite important if you are going to share the same space with people with different chronotype than yours. Some people get up filled of energy, some others are angry and slowly until midday. Be aware of what is your case, and understand the differences in others.
You want to keep things working as smoothly as possible, thus, negotiate your own biological timings.5
1.1.4 Sleep enough
Your body heals when you sleep. Now that everybody is in lockdown, there is not much to do. Thus, take your time and rest deeply. Lack of sleep weakens your immune system. Thus, make it difficult for the virus, use the opportunity and catch up with sleep. Check some TED talks about sleep if you are curious about the needs and the benefits of quality resting time.
1.1.5 Emotional management
We all are going through many emotions at the moment, from fear, panic, nervousness, anger, worriness, boredom, excitement, confusion, surprise…
Thus, it is fundamental that we learn how to remain calm and don’t let our emotions take control of the situation. Specially, when spending long periods of time with other people, we need to learn how to release our emotions in a safe way, avoiding aggressivity, but without letting conflicts unresolved.
Some basic strategies you can already start reading and learning about are:
Meditation: There is tons of resource on the internet about how to meditate and what are the benefit and impact on psychological and physical health. You can explore a post I wrote about selecting the most suitable meditaion app depending your previous experecience as meditator, from complete beginner to energy healer.
Emotional intelligence: Daniel Goleman is one of the most famous author on the topic. Also, [Mayer and Salovey] are two respected authors within academia that have researched about the topic for many years. You can read and overview of the theory here.
Basically, you need to train yourself in the four components of emotional intelligence: perceaving emotions, reasoning with emotions, understanding emotions, and managing your emotions.
Before you get in an argument during the lockdown, breathe deeply, remember your meditation sessions, and perceive, reason, understand and manage what is going on.
1.1.6 Habits and tendencies
Different people have different habits. When living together it can get problematic with your flatmates, but the first thing is to know what are your own habits, and in which self-destructive patterns you can fall. When having a lot of free time, you may binge-watch series, or spend the day without doing much, just fooling around your social media. Therefore, the earlier you stablish a series of healthy habits that keep your mind busy and growing the sooner you will enjoy your lockdown time, and the more you will take out of the situation.
I am writing a post on my site about my personal habits and how I track them.6 Take a look if you need some inspiration. Remember, take advantage of this situation. Imagine that you got some free days to invest in yourself, refresh your skills and upgrade your life.
1.1.7 Smartphone fear based
Avoid panic mode, go airplane mode.
If you are alone at your place watching conspiracy videos, it is likely that you start to get paranoid. You may also receive messages and testimonies from people at other countries, or stories about how is the situation in hospitals. In this cases, the more you use the smartphone, the worse your imagination will become. If you are lockdown at your place and you don’t have the virus, the worse thing that can happen to you is loneliness and boredom. If you are alone and you develop sympthoms, then wait few days before heading to the hospitals. It is important to give a chance to your organism to recover by yourself before collapsing healthcare system.
Additionally, fear and worry will lower down your defenses making you more vulnerable to catch the disease. Thus, shut down your smartphone, or set it up in airplane mode and stablish a “time for myself” attitude.
1.1.8 Hypochondriac
You may start to feel some symptoms at some point. Don’t get hypochondriac and run to the hospitals. If you go to a hospital for mild symptomathology, if you don’t have the virus, you will get it there waiting in emergency. Therefore, try to stay at home, breathe in, breathe out, treat yourself specially good for a couple of days, and wait patiently to see how your situation evolves. If you are young, you may go through the COVID-19 with ease: bit of fever, runny nose, diharrea, and cough. Obviously, if you get worse (short of breathe, high fever), it is probably time to go to the hospital.
However, try to not get panic for nothing. The more you read about the symptoms, the more your mirror neurons will fire, and the more your brain will remember how many times you sneeze in the last 4 hours. Relax. If you started the lockdown on times, chances are that you are safe.
Also, it is important to know that catching the virus is not cool, it is dangerous. A health worker made a video where he asks Spanish youth to stay at home and avoid collapsing hospitals for weak symptoms. He implies that some people just go there to “check” if they have the virus to post it on their social media. Please, don’t be stupid. Stay at home, avoid collapsing the hospitals, and spend your time continuing reading this guide.
1.1.9 Be creative, keep yourself busy
Use the opportunity to delve in your own creativity. Check the book The artist way by Julia Cameron (Cameron 2016). In this book, you will find a series of creative exercises and self-exploration that will keep you busy exploring your own creativity during the lockdown.
Also, use the occasion to think outside of the box. Creativity sparks with limitations. Creativity is based on new connections of old elements. Now, that you cannot escape your room, take the opportunity of mixing things up, came up with new ideas, and use develop that artistic passion that you never could.
1.1.10 Make a schedule
You need to keep yourself organized. Jordan Peterson mentions the duality between chaos and order in their works Maps of meaning Peterson (1999) and 12 Rules for life Peterson (2018). When there is too much chaos in one’s life, psyches collapse. When they have too much order, people need to fly away.
In our current situation, it can happen both at the same time. There is too much new chaos in our lives because our plans for March and April got cancelled, and at the same time there is too much order because we cannot escape the environment where we are trapped in.
Therefore, try to find a balance in between. Use the chaos opportunity to put order and establish a schedule of your day to day of quarantine and use the ordered environment to explore the inner chaos of your psyche, your room, and maybe ending up ordering the world a bit more.
Furthermore, having and following a schedule will serve as an anchor and guide through your days of quarantine. It is very easy to stop doing things, fall into self-destructive patterns, over-sleeping, compulsive video-gaming, binge-watching, and ending up with a worse life than before. However, if you organize yourself, make a morning routine connecting with your body, your mind, and your long-term working strategy, the quarantine period can become an unforgettable moment of thriving and upgrade of your current life. Use it wisely.
1.1.11 Drop individualism
Even if you are alone at home, you should stop thinking as an individual. Here in Europe, we are use to have our own personal time and space, but the current circumstances are asking for something different. Think of yourself as a piece of a huge mechanism. Whatever you do will have an effect on the whole system. Therefore, follow security guidelines, stay at home, avoid hospitals as much as possible, and try to help your flat mates and your neighbors.
Contrary to what apocalyptic artwork suggest, human beings behave at their best in the worst situations. This brings the best of human nature. The cooperation, kindness, responsibility, solidarity, altruism, and generosity that makes us the ruling specie in the planet. Don’t enter into fear, and let the panic take rule of the situation. Don’t fight over toilet paper on the supermarket and think whether the resources you are taking can help other person more than you. Help those in need. If you have grandparent, or elderly in your proximity, offer them shopping and cleaning their house. Keep them as safe as possible. We will survive this all together. Focus on the love, focus on the cooperation, and drop fear, egoism, and individualism.
1.2 Get to know each other
If you are cohabiting with other people, you have an excellent opportunity to get to know them better; to learn and discover about different life approaches and perspectives; to deepen in your relationship. You can ask deeper questions, brought more original topics, and make yourself more vulnerable. About social connection and vulnerability, it is likely that you have heard about Brene Brown and her TED Talk.
Go a bit deeper in yourself, expose your soul and connect with those around you.
1.2.1 Extremelly needed non-violent communication
During the lockdown time, you’ll have to learn how to talk with each other. When small problems and conflicts are left unspoken, the negative feelings and sensations accumulate in one’s body, and that negative energy is carried throughout the day. It is possible to sense the tension when there has been a conflictive situation where one of the parts hasn’t spoken their mind. Avoid keeping things inside and seek to express them in an effective and non-aggressive way.
You can learn about non-violent communication to avoid saying things like: You are always telling me what to do and what not to do, or You never listen to what I say. With some basic guidelines you can switch these messages to: I often feel that you tell me what to do and what not to do. I would thank you wouldn’t do it, or I don’t feel listened when I talk with you.
Keep in mind the communicative attitude and assume that the other people are trying to do their best as well. You can remember those sentences of: We are all lost individuals trying to figure out what to do with our lives. Or use strategies like imagine the person that is arguing with you when they were small kid or baby. This way, you will reconnect with your empathy and kindness and try to bring back the problem solving mood to the situation.
1.2.1.1 Straight forwardness
Although, it may sound contradictory with the non-violent communication, my type of personality (ADHD), thanks and welcomes straight forwardness. I really appreciate when people say things clearly, even if they can be harmful at the moment. I also drop much of my ego when I am talking or receiving feedback. It can sound a bit advance to try to detach from your creations, your thoughts, your body, or even your “self” or identity; but it is a wonderful way of listening more clearly and without judgments to what people are actually saying and meaning.
Try to ask for clarification as much as possible to avoid misunderstandings, if you are confused about what a person mean, ask them. Also, you can point out inaccuracies and polarization terms, like always or never, all the time, the whole day, everything, everyone… None of us is able to do everything in the same way. Thus, avoid using inaccurate sentences, and aim to reach a truthful communicative level of speech.
Challenge yourself and dear to say things more directly. You can check the security word strategy below to offer the person you are talking with a way of soothing down your speech, in case is too much for them.
1.2.1.2 Assume good will and be cooperative attitude
If you are not living with a toxic person7 (psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, or borderline personality), you can assume that the other people aim to have a peaceful and relaxed environment. Many of us are not very good at managing our own emotions, and when we suffer from stress, we can become harsh and a bit evil. However, it is fundamental to keep in mind that evil comes from suffering, and when someone behaves with bad intentions, they are likely trying to make others experience the suffering they hold inside.
Thus, thanks to your meditation practice, you will be able to remain chill and cool if the situations heats up and observe reality in a more objective way without loosing the perspective. Remember that most of us just want the best for ourselves and others. You can research a bit about Pygmalion effect and discover how beliefs can determine behavior. Thus, have a positive belief, assume goodness and cooperation, and you may create your own reality.
1.2.1.3 Be empathetic
People like me can come across too harshly. We have good intentions, but sometimes we forget about who we are talking to, and we can be harmful. Thus, remember to be empathetic. Acknowledge your infinity ignorance about the other person’s state of consciousness. All of us have gone through a personal life process full of suffering. Our own unique experience and leanings have made us the way we are, so, it is normal that we don’t understand each other. We are all f*cking talking monkeys trying to understand each other. Nothing else.
A simple practice to develop your empathy, is to try to tune in with the other person. Just look into their eyes, breathe deeply a couple of times, and try to observe them without judgements. Imagine a recent suffering they may have gone through, and keep your awareness on the present moment, your own body and the person in front of you. In this way, you may be able to connect with the other state of being and adapt your speech and intensity to the other person.
1.2.2 Express your needs and limits
One of the things I learn from my toxic relationship was to express my needs clearly and out loud. The more you are in contact with your needs and limits, the easier will be to share them. With non-violent communication, you will be able to express them in a way that is not aggressive, but assertive, spoken out your mind with clarity and self-respect.
Your flat mates, friends, and relatives cannot read your mind. They cannot know what you think or how you feel. You need to remain communicative, and cooperative, speaking clearly what you need. Sometimes it is difficult to verbalize, and you may not know what do you need or want. In these cases, speak your communicative difficulties as well. Tell them that you are unable to speak at the moment, that you need some time to reflect and understand yourself, and that there is nothing wrong with them or the relationship.
1.2.3 Time alone
In WEIRD cultures8 (Henrich, Heine, and Norenzayan 2010) like ours, we are used to have our own private space and personal time. In more collectivistic and developing countries, the story is different. The density of population is so big that people are force to adapt their individualistic impulses to the dynamics of the group.
In situations like the one we are living, it is a pretty efficient strategy to adopt a “developing country” mindset as soon as possible. We will be together, we will have to share personal and private spaces and resources, and we will be forced to collaborate and sacrifice our personal desired in favour of the collective.
Anyways, if too much cohabiting gets complicate, you can set up a house rule for taking “Time alone”. My advice here is that you make it fully “Time Alone”. I am inspired in the practice of taking one day of dopamine fasting, when you are not supposed to eat, socialize, read, use your devices, etc… You can set up a 2 to 3 hours of full time alone, when one person can enter a room without any distraction or devices, so he can focus exclusively on meditating, calming themselves down, write something, exercising, or processing the situation.
I also advice you to adopt the silent hour strategy. For this, you may make an agreement with your flatmates/relatives/yourself, of remaining completely quiet for an hour (thoughts included). It is a shorter version of the vow of silence observed by many religious traditions, and practiced by monks and nuns in spiritual retreats. Give it a try.
1.2.4 Be kind
For maintaining a healthy environment, it is necessary cooperation, and collaboration. The desired attitude to develop in these conditions is a kind approach to others. Kindness is the ability of remain receptive and responsive to other’s need. Words like generosity, patience, tolerance, humility, or empathetic listening are all elements of what kind may mean.
1.2.4.2 Respect each other processes
We are all going through hardships. In this weird time of lockdown, we all need time for adaptation to the current situation. Some people can accept the situation easily, coming up with many ideas and activities that they want to carry out; while others can get stuck on how disruptive the break out of the pandemic has been and how much they have lost.
Although I am an advocate of the idea that these types of crisis bring new opportunities and that we should focus on the love and the positive aspects; some others have difficulties to focus on the potential good things and dwell into negative thinking patterns. Thus, remain patient and compassionate. Observe how people evolve and be open for them to share their worries whenever they need. Try to tune into them without being dragged down to the negative aspects of the situation.
Sooner or later, we will all find something positive of this situation and use the opportunity to grow as individuals and specie.
1.2.5 Negotiation
If you haven’t yet, it is pretty likely that you have to set up some cohabiting rules for the upcoming weeks.
Negotiation is a specific way of communication that aims that all the parties of the conversation end up reaching an agreement where everyone is as satisfied as possible. Negotiation assumes good will and fair play. When you are trying to reach an agreement is not the best moment to start throwing shit to each other’s faces. Aim to move towards a solution instead of getting stagnant in past problems. There may be tons of unsolved situations from the past, but at the moment of negotiating for the future the focus should be in how to behave from now onwards.
Remember non-violent communication, avoid absolutes and extreme term such as always, never, every time… Try to keep the focus on the objective and the most functional solution, letting aside egos and competitive mindsets. Focus your mind in adopting a cooperative solution. It is not about who is right and who is wrong, but how to reach a working consensus that maintains and sustain a durable and peaceful situation.
1.2.5.1 Norms and rules for smooth collaboration
My approach to rules is not the classic external authority limits individual freedom, but a more inside towards the outside process. For that, we need a certain level of self-knowledge. In my case, I have reduced impulse control due to my ADHD, that manifest specially clearly with the consumption of sugary products. Knowing this, I asked my flat mates to keep chocolates and biscuits away from me (sometimes the smartphone as well). Thus, I can ask them from time to time to hand me a biscuit or two, or they can offer me when they eat them. This way, I don’t have to waste my whole willpower avoiding finishing the whole package at once.
Therefore, I suggest you to do the same. Learn about yourself and your tendencies, and check when your rational-logical mind is lik ely to stop working. Inform your flat mates about it and set up strategies to keep your inner beast under self/others-control.
So, the theory is not an others control the self, but the self controls itself through others.
Another example. If you are a women, and having the period disrupts your mood, you can set up a security word, so your flat mates can remind you of how your hormonal changes may be downgrading your way of communication.
Levels of order. All of us have different levels of order and cleanliness. Usually, these differences is what makes people argue and discuss about whether things have to be cleaned more or less often. Due to my messy and unordered nature, my overall strategy is minimalism. The less things I have, the less I have to clean, and the lower I maintain the maximum degree of chaos at my place. I suggest you adopt a minimalistic lifestyle, prioritizing the things you use more often, and putting inside wardrobes and drawers the stuff you don’t use, or use rarely. You can start with a general deep cleaning and declutter of the house, and then set up a rule to clean every X time the different parts of the house. This way, everything will get in their perfect/cleanest state (after the general deep cleaning), and then maintain over time thanks to the scheduled checkups. Agree between you what are your healthy levels of order and chaos for setting up the goals of the deep general cleaning and the scheduled checkups.
Silent hour. By silent hour, I don’t mind the time of the night you should stop making noises (i.e. the classical Silence hour of summer camps). What I mean is that you can set up a specific time of the day where you are not talking to each other, you focus on your persona work, reading, or creating purposes. In this way, although you are living together, you can maintain a level of aloneness, intimacy, and privacy, that we individualistic westerners may need. During this silent hour, you are not supposed to talk with each other, so, any comment or ideas that you may have, you can write it down on a paper and comment it later. This will also help you to postpone your whims and become a more patient person (specially helpful for ADHD’ers like me). In this silent hour, you could include a non-smartphone rule, so you can really use the best of those 60 minutes without being distracted by the superficiality of social media. Up to you.
Security word. Sex is that behavior where rules are supposed to be overcome and our instinctive naturality can be released freely. These situations welcome ambiguity and contradictions. However, it is a healthy and known practice to agree on security words, so any of the person involved can express their limits without ambiguity. In my communication, I started to adopt this strategy myself. For some people, I speak too straight-forwards. I have difficulties to remain self-aware of how I am communicating and perceiving how my words are being received by my listener. Thus, many times, before start talking, I tell them to agree with me a security word, so they can point out when I am being too direct or even aggressive with my communication. Something like “Relax, relax, Fluito, relax” can be a good security word.
In a similar way, you can have a wide arrange of security words, depending on your personal needs. For example, in Delivered from Distraction and Driven to Distraction books written by Dr. Hallowell (Hallowell and Ratey 2011, 2005) about ADHD, it is said that instead of blaming the person, partner, relatives, and friends should call out the ADHD itself instead. “Try to put your ADHD under control” instead of “Control yourself or Stop and be quiet.
Thus, try to apply the same attitude of self-control through others, instead of others controlling the self, and suggest your flat mates and relatives to use security words when the communication is not working anymore among you and it is healthier to take a break from each other.
1.3 Check with your neighboors
You are not alone in this situation. Your neighbors either. Drop individualism and appreciate the amount of underutilized social resources in your surroundings.
If you are like me, you probably don’t know the name, occupation, or approximated age of your neighbors. The purpose of the lockdown is to avoid massive spread of the disease among big groups of anonymous people. However, if you take some security measures (avoiding direct physical contact, keeping two-meters distance), you can check whether they are doing fine or not, and if they need anything special.
You can organize to do some shopping, sharing cleaning products, or even meeting if you both seem healthy and are outside of the risk groups. It is a good period to catch up with those anonymous people that live so close to you.
Important: In Germany they have developed an online system to offer and request help from your neighbors. Hopefully, other countries will follow trend, and hopefully the model will be sustained in post-Corona times.
1.3.1 Make initial contact
You can start by popping up one day and asking how is going, if there is anybody sick at their place and whether they need something. A more classical excuse is to pass by to ask for something specific. Recently, we knock into our next-door neighbors to ask for a mechanic drill because we were doing some small housework. With this initial contact you can already set up your availability for future encounters, and even invite them to offer them a drink and pass by your place if they want in response to their kindness.
1.3.2 Help them with shooping and errands
Imagine that you take the self-isolation very seriously, and you decide to make a big significant shopping. It may happen that you don’t have a car, but your neighbors do. Thus, you can politely suggest going together and do some groceries for both. This way, you will reduce pollution and trips to the supermarket. I am aware that many people use the supermarket walk to get some fresh air and scape home, I do. However, it is not a bad excuse to develop a habit that you can maintain once the whole quarantine period has passed.
Also, if you have a car and you plan to go groceries, you can offer them the ride. This car sharing among neighbors sounds to me a pretty natural and obvious behavior we should, at least, give a chance. Also, if your neighbors belong to group at risks (elderly, weak immune system), you may offer them to do their groceries in order to minimize their exposition to the virus.
1.3.3 Avoid isolating elderly
Finally, I suggest you to take especial care with the elderly. You could start by asking for their telephone number to check from time to time. Elderly is a group that is at risk not only by the COVID-19, but also from multitude of domestic accident and psychological suffering like loneliness or depression. Thus, COVID-19 brings a very good opportunity to make contact with them, offering them do some errands and groceries, and even helping them cleaning up their house (although usually they are very good at keeping their space clean and order). Nevertheless, many times old people struggle to do some simple tasks as changing bulbs, or cleaning windows or the top of the cupboards. Thus, just letting them know that they can count with you will probably increase their mood, reduce their loneliness, and make them feel safer and supported in case something happens.
From your side, you will end up making some altruistic behavior that will surely increase your positive feelings and meaning of life.
References
Cacioppo, John T, and William Patrick. 2008. Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. WW Norton & Company.
Cameron, Julia. 2016. The Artist’s Way. Penguin.
Peterson, Jordan B. 1999. Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief. Psychology Press.
Peterson, Jordan B. 2018. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Random House Canada.
Henrich, Joseph, Steven J Heine, and Ara Norenzayan. 2010. “The weirdest people in the world?” Behavioral and Brain Sciences 33 (2-3): 61–83.
Curry, Oliver Scott, Lee A Rowland, Caspar J Van Lissa, Sally Zlotowitz, John McAlaney, and Harvey Whitehouse. 2018. “Happy to Help? A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of the Effects of Performing Acts of Kindness on the Well-Being of the Actor.” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 76: 320–29.
Hallowell, Edward M MD, and John J Ratey. 2011. Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood. Anchor.
Hallowell, Edward M, and John J Ratey. 2005. Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most Out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder. Random House Digital, Inc.
I also invite you to read my letter to B., if you are curious about my loneliness and suffering. ↩
You can learn more reading Daniel Pin’s book When: The scientific secrets of perfect timing Pink (2019)↩
You can also visit my other guide with life advice where I mention the chronotypes.↩
Unplublished for the moment↩
I suffer myself from a toxic relationship. If you are curious, click here.↩
Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic↩